


Tony is a Squirrel

by Sinistretoile



Series: FrostIron Foray [4]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Squirrels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 12:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8668285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinistretoile/pseuds/Sinistretoile
Summary: Loki's frustration with Tony's squirrel-like behavior of stashing food around Avengers Tower reaches it's peak.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation. Enjoy.

Loki sighed in frustration as he found another of Tony’s randomly hidden food stuffs around the apartment. This time, it was a clutch of blueberries that had gone off. He plucked the package up and closed the drawer then dropped it into the trash. That was the third stash he’d found that day and the second that had gone bad while hidden.  
Tony strode in from the workshop, looking sweaty and unkempt and altogether delicious. He was eating yet another snack. You’d think with as much as his lover ate, the man would be as big as a house. On the contrary, he remained quite fit and agile.  
“Why the long face, princess?”  
“Your obsession with hiding food around the apartment.”  
Tony smirked. “I can’t help it. It helps with the addiction recovery.”  
Loki nodded. He understood. You do anything to get better when you want to. Tony had every reason in the world to be a better man. He smiled at the man. He just hoped he was one of them. “Well, would you kindly keep your hidden foodstuffs non-perishable? Nero rolled in a spoilt blueberries and I had to give him a bath. Now, he’s sulking behind the vodka.”  
“I can’t promise I don’t already have fruit somewhere around here.”  
“Oh for bloody- Anthony, you’re a squirrel.” There was a flash of green light and Tony disappeared. “Fuck.” Loki walked around the kitchen island. A small bump moved within Tony’s clothes, finally emerging through a pant leg. Loki sighed. He recognized the look Tony was giving him even in rodent face. “You’re a squirrel.” It chittered at him. “Yes, yes, darling, I am aware this is my fault.” It chittered more. Loki sighed. “Fine, fine, I’ll attempt it. Anthony, you’re a man.”  
Nothing happened. If squirrels could glare, this one glared at Loki. The elevator doors slid open. Clint sauntered into the apartment. “Where’s Tony?” He paused. “Loki, are you- are you talking to that squirrel?”  
It was a testament to Clint that he even spoke to Loki after what he’d done to him. But after a rather brutal confrontation and a lengthy conversation, the two were on speaking terms. Loki sighed and the squirrel put its paws on its hips. “Barton, this is Anthony.”  
Barton chuckled. “No really, where’s Tony? He said he had some new arrows he wanted me to test out.”  
“Really, Barton.”  
“You’re serious.” Loki nodded. Tony the squirrel crossed his arms over his little chest. “How did this happen?” Clint narrowed his eyes at the rodent.  
“Chaotic magic. It wasn’t intentional. We were discussing his habit of hiding edibles around the apartment. And I called him a squirrel and Voila! Anthony is a squirrel.”  
“You tried to turn him back?”  
“I did.”  
“So what now? He can’t stay like that.”  
“I am aware.”  
“Have you thought of anything?”  
“Not at the moment, I haven’t had a chance.” The pair stared at Squirrel Tony as they began to think. “Perhaps if we look for the hidden edibles using the squirrel as a tracker?”  
“Because it would think like Tony AND a squirrel.”  
“Precisely.”  
“It’s worth a shot.” Tony glared at both of them, chittering and stomping his paws on the counter top.

A few hours later…  
The counter top was covered with a variety of snacks. The fruit that had turned had been disposed of. Squirrel Tony came dragging a small tin up to the island. He looked absolutely knackered. Loki lifted the tin and set it with the rest of the snacks. There was a flash of light and Tony stood, stark naked behind Loki.  
“That is the last.”  
Loki grinned. “I can see that now.”  
Tony slipped his arms around Loki’s waist, pressing his face into the god’s hair. “You know these will have to go back. It helps me.”  
“I know.” Loki leaned back into him. “Just not the fruit. Everything else can go back. Not the perishables.”  
Clint strolled back in from the workshop, having double checked it after the squirrel went through. “Find anything else?” He pulled up short once he got a full view of Tony’s bare ass. Tony looked up from kissing and nibbling Loki’s neck as the god turned his head around, eyes wide. He’d forgotten Barton was still there. “I can see we’ve found it all. I’ll leave you two alone.”  
“Appreciated.”  
“I’ll come by tomorrow to check out those arrows.”  
“Sure thing.” Tony waved to Clint. Barton, unlike the rest of them except for maybe Nat, got the relationship between the pair. They balanced each other well even though they were nearly exactly alike. He heard Tony ask ‘where were we?’ as the door slid shut. “Never a dull moment.” He shook his head as the elevator descended.


End file.
